I Don’t Like Soccer - It’s a Stupid Game

It takes a lot of skill and dedication to participate at the highest level of any profession, let alone Football. However, as Phill Chadwick reports, there are some who just don't appreciate that.

On Friday night I was at a friend's house, eating pizza, drinking red wine, and preparing to watch the Sydney vs Newcastle semi final. Having Foxtel subscribing friends is a great boon at this time of the year.

Our usual group was joined this time by two more couples.

Of the eight of us, half were committed football supporters, three were neutral, and one was an AFL-Tennis-Cricket-loving and soccer-hating type.

When the game came on and his bid to watch two foreigners playing a game of tennis was out-voted, he loudly complained "I hate soccer, it's a stupid game". Here we go, I thought, this could be an awkward couple of hours.

The hosts, being the good hosts that they always are, didn't buy in to his baiting. But I did.

So, why is it a stupid game? I enquired. Is it because, unlike tennis, the score can be 1-0 or 2-0 not Forty-Love or Deuce? Should football move to that peculiar scoring method?

Is it because in football the crowd is supposed to make more noise than the players?

Or maybe, unlike AFL, is it because footballers aren't rewarded with a consolation point for getting close to kicking a goal?

Or any of the many other arbitrary, silly or pointless rules that all sports, including football, have. These things are just part of the entirety of the sport and if you take them aside and look at them closely, they all have silly rules, incomprehensible to outsiders.

My point is that you can dislike any sport. Personally I don't like watching golf, tennis, basketball or rugby (either code). But that is just personal preference. Probably, if I had been raised in Sydney, I would enjoy Rugby League. I wasn't, and I don't.

I don't appreciate the nuances of basketball. If I was an American, or if I was a foot taller than I am, perhaps I would.

But it is all just personal preference. There is nothing intrinsic to any of those sports in itself that makes it any more "stupid" than any other.

That is what I can't understand about the "stupid" comment. This gentleman is intelligent, educated, a well-paid senior executive. In most other ways he is quite rational, yet he feels justified in announcing loudly how stupid football is, and presumably did not expect to offend anyone.

Well, it offended me, if only slightly. And when challenged to justify that remark, he immediately changed the subject and turned back to the delights of the pizza box. Perhaps he realised how silly it had sounded.

Meanwhile, we were enjoying the game. When Sydney scored their second goal, I detected a slight change. Our soccer-hater commented on the precision and power of Milligan's header. I agreed. I also pointed out the precision of the cross that lead to it.

When Rodriguez' amazing footwork bamboozled Sydney's defence and pulled one back for Newcastle, he was forced to admit his admiration for the skill, even while mocking the headband.

What is more to the point was his admission that his whole family had avidly followed last year's World Cup, regularly getting up in the middle of the night to watch Australia's matches!

So, by the end of the game, perhaps infected by the atmosphere of enthusiasm in the room, perhaps mellowed by a couple of glasses of the Coonawarra's finest, he seemed to have shifted in his opinion. Perhaps the game is not quite so stupid after all.

Maybe there is a lesson in that for all of us. In the end, we will like a certain sport, usually for no better reason than we were brought up with it. And others, less familiar, we may not appreciate.

Such preferences cannot be forced on people, and a softly-softly approach may be the best. Instead of trying to ram football down their throats and argue over which sport is "best", maybe we should just quietly share some of our love of the game.

A few examples of the sublime skill and power of modern football may do the trick.

Point out how real football fans are against diving and faking injury as much as anyone.

Carefully explaining the mysteries of the offside rule, using the time-honoured salt and pepper shakers method, might pay dividends.

Gentle persuasion can sometimes be more effective than aggressive dispute.

And don't underestimate the seductive effects of a good red wine, South Australian, of course!

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